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My internal struggle

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Okay, so I haven't done a sequel to My Thoughts #1 and I thought it was about time I did. This time I'm going to write about me, and the issues that I have been dealing with lately.
So I have to admit that when I went vegan I thought it would be the answer to all my problems, I thought I would lose weight, my skin would instantly clear up, my stretch marks would fade, and that I would be left looking and feeling great. It has been over 6 months and I've experienced none of the above.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being vegan! I will never, ever go back! However I can't help but feel frustration that it's been 6 months and I'm still the same as before I went vegan. If anything, I've gained a little bit of weight, and my skin has gotten worse. I know there is the "detox period," but my detox period seems to be going on forever. It never seems to stop. I have a few days of no breakouts, get hopeful, and breakout the next day! It's like an on-going cycle. I just want to feel happy and confident in my body. But its hard, when you don't experience any changes to be confident about.

It is during my very low moments that I let this negative thinking get to me, and I can't shake it off, and I'm left feeling angry and miserable. Looking back, I could have been healthier, ate 100% clean and exercised daily, but I would not have enjoyed being so strict on myself.
If you are new to veganism, and like me, are expecting a world of changes to happen to your body and skin, then my advice to you is be patient. It is the one thing I'm still learning.

I sometimes forget that veganism is not about me, its about the world, the planet, the animals. I feel like I sometimes need to remember that I haven't made this lifestyle change for just my own needs, but also to make a difference to the world around me. I forget the impact that my eating habits alone are having on the planet. The animals I'm saving. When I feel particularly upset, it is at these times that I remind myself, that I'm not vegan for me, I'm vegan for the world, for the voiceless.
Being vegan has made me mentally happy. I am so so happy about the change that I'm making, knowing that I'm making a difference, instead of contributing to the destruction. That makes me happy! I enjoy the food I eat, I'm grateful for the life I have, and that I am able to make these decisions and the choices I'm presented with. I am utterly grateful for what I have. I try not to get upset about what I don't have (clear skin, slimmer body), but I have to be honest and say that sometimes I do get upset. Its only human.

This frustration is not something I talk about a lot on my social media (instagram) because I try not to post negativity. I always try to stay positive, and I want my blog to be like that. But like every other human on this planet, I do experience negativity, and this negativity is not something I really want to remember, which is why I do not post my negative thoughts on instagram. I want that to be a place where I can look back on happy times. I hope you understand this. I am not always happy. No way! But I don't publicize my unhappiness either.

Me, enjoying a green smoothie! :) Try to smile everyday.


If you are still here and reading this, thank you for your support! If you are new to veganism, or are like me and still waiting for changes to happen, hang in there! Try not to let those negative thoughts consume you, and remember the positive changes you are making, the planet you are helping and the animals you are saving. Also remember that veganism is not just about you.

I take each day as it comes, and I am still struggling as I continue to grow, learn and try to accept myself. I am not perfect. 

I admit that I have been debating for a while whether on not I should have posted this, but I decided to be open and honest not only to my readers, but to myself too.

Thanks for your support, I would appreciate any feedback, or anyone else going through the same thing to comment below and just tell me your thoughts!

Kimberley
Instagram- @healthynzgirl
Email- healthynzgirl@gmail.com
Tumblr- @healthynzgirl


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